kaylee//20//florida

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  • hotboyproblems:

    me in a a god awful Austin Powers impression at insanely high decibels nearly to the point of screaming: life makes me depressed baby!!!

    my therapist: I know this is some sort of coping mechanism but I am begging you to give me information in virtually any other way

    (via lukewalkwalker)

    fuocogo:

    Did everyone just…. forget how to create, all of a sudden? Disney pumping out the fourth remake in a row? Movies are like 70% sequels? Stories in games being just bad if they exist at all? Haven’t had a book get hyped in like half a decade? Are we okay? What’s going on?

    (via kumquatjammers)

    spectral-bargheist:

    massivelimestonecube:

    massivelimestonecube:

    massivelimestonecube:

    ??? someone broke into my grandmas house while she was gone & shaved the matted fur off her cat

    i want to emphasize that the cat was the only thing altered here

    would also like to add that this occcurred sometime between 11 pm & 9 am. we have no leads. the cat is fine & probably appreciates not having a huge mat on his neck, but, like, that’s a really weird kind of vigilante justice, still

    chaotic good

    (via toastbutteregg)

    dootmario2:

    julietandherfairjuliet:

    rigglos:

    lesbianrey:

    list of heroes

    the woman who dated 40+ guys, got them to buy her iphones, and then sold them to buy a house

    the woman who traded one singular rick and morty sauce for a car

    don’t forget the woman who charged a bunch of dudes money to attend an orgy but never promised any women would be there so they all just showed up to find nothing but men

    The girl on Tinder whose profile said “send me $5 and see what happens” and after they sent her money she blocked them

    the girl who pretended to be a republican and got old white conservatives to fund her tuition

    (via punsbulletsandpointythings)

    princelogical:

    wishem:

    supersaiyansaint:

    wishem:

    qualitydoggo:

    brendaonao3:

    sensei-wrong:

    symbiote-spideypool:

    peter and wade are fighting side by side and when peter runs out of web fluid, he grabs a gun off wade’s belt and wade has this transcendent moment of i’m going to watch spiderman shoot my gun at a real live bad guy

    but peter just fucking throws it at a bad guy’s face and knocks him out cold

    The impact causes the gun to go off and shoot wade in the dick. Spider man spends the next several minutes frantically apologizing while cable laughs his ass off for the first time in years.

    Pretty sure I’ve read this comic

    @wishem please omg just a quick doodle or something even

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    I am sorry Cable looks like that

    I laughed my ass of at “bad guy uwu” I love this entire comic so much

    The most dangerous of all bad guys

    @m4rloe5

    (via teenagerposts)

    magpieanabelle:

    virginieawoolf:

    gotlostintheuniverse:

    coffeebuddha:

    wreathedinscales:

    celean0:

    cheekless0nion:

    cocksmasher69:

    spearmint-milkshake:

    i just saw a fb post where a man was arguing with a woman about the best way to make macarons and he kept insisting that she was wrong, and then eventually he was like “I’ve never personally made macarons, but if you think about it what I’m saying makes sense, i’m simply stating the obvious. i’m sure there are plenty of youtube tutorials that would show you the same thing.” and the woman replied by linking him to her instagram business page and she makes fuckin macaron towers for parties for a living and i’ve been laughing about it for a solid 5 minutes.

    Men automatically assume they’re more of an expert on something than any woman on account of their dicks. I’ve never met such an ignorant and narcissistic creature as a male

    I’ll never forget a time when a fb friend of mine posted that she’s on her way to hospital to give birth. Women commented with “good luck” and other encouraging messages. A man’s comment was advice on how to give birth. 

    You have got to be kidding me

    So I was talking about Jekyll & Hyde (the book) at a writer’s museum while we were looking at an Robert Louis Stevenson exhibit. I was giving my take on Jekyll, and my brother tried to counter it. I countered back easily, and then he said “well I’ve never read the book”

    My dude………..stop

    my ex, whose baking experience was pretty much limited to frying premade biscuit dough in boy scouts to make ‘donuts’, would constantly try to correct me or give me advice on baking

    i’m a fucking pastry chef

    met a dude at a party who was talking about physics and asked if i’d ever listened to any online physics lectures bc he listened to all of this one series and they were so helpful and maybe i could learn some physics too

    i have a degree in physics

    and am a published coauthor in astrophysics

    the best part is that the woman who invented the term ‘mansplaining’ (her name is Rebecca Solnit and i highly recommend her collection of essays) came up with it when she was at a party one night and a man tried to explain a book to her, and wouldn’t let her speak long enough for her to tell him that

    she wrote the bloody book he was mansplaining to her

    You know I have plenty examples of this but that last one takes the cake so imma just let it be.

    (via captain-assmurica)

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